I had a Visage of love

A Visage of love

Michelle Visage. Need I say more? Probably not...

But I will.

I officially retired as a Big Brother fan after season 7 in 2006. I watched in horror and shock as Nikki Grahame ("Who IS she?!") and a cast of characters whom I was certain needed some kind of therapy cavorted, cracked-up and stewed, locked inside their Petri dish of crazy, all for our enjoyment. I wondered when some mental health agency would intervene on behalf of these clearly insane people and shut it down. But when help never came and the finale arrived (Yes, I watched to the end. I'm only human!) I chastised myself for sating my gladitorial vouyearism in such a way and turned away from the muppet show-like bedlam of Big Brother for good.

Enter Michelle Visage.

My amnesty on BB was broken when none other than the glittering Michelle Visage sashayed into the big eye's domain. My loyalty in this instance was more towards mama RuPaul who has kept me entranced over the last six series of RuPaul's Drag Race (check back for why RDR is in no way as damaging a petri dish as BB). But, what we found in the Lady Visage was an LGBTQ champion like none other.

Now, for those of you who haven't been watching, this has been one of the most controversy riddled seasons of any BB series. Not only is the notorious nose, Katie Hopkins, in the house. But she has squared off against the neolithic-browed man-child, Perez Hilton. But, I won't give too much air time to either of these headline grabbing monstrosities (Maybe they're nice people. Not my issue. I'm judging them on what they say and do publicly because, you know, internet).

So, when Michelle was drizzled into the mix like a delicious dollop of cream I just knew she was going to be the Xena Warrior Princess of the series, shutting down lunacy and bad behaviour with a ferocious cry. But, what we got from her, though, was something so unexpected and special that I'm kvelling.

Michelle Visage is by far one of the classiest champions for LGBTQ people EVER!

She does not shout. She does not put down. She does not goad. She says what she stands for and lives the example that she expects others to set. Now, you may not agree with her message. But the way she delivers it has to be applauded.

In the face of some serious lewd behaviour from some people in the LGBTQ community in the CBB house, it's refreshing to see someone who stands up for equality and inclusion in a way that I can be proud of. I remember when his royal tweakedness George Michael got arrested the first time for cottaging and came out with 'Outside'. I was like 'Hell yeah'. Own it. Turn it on it's head. Make a disco record. But then we he got caught AGAIN he went on to say that he was a 'gay hero' standing up for 'our' lifestlye. Hang on, George, cottaging is not part of my lifestyle. It's your choice, yes. And being gay is totes cool. But, do not speak for me and my lifestyle. Also, your dumb ass got caught. But, just like straight couples who swing do not speak for all straight people, you do not speak for me and are certainly no hero Bonnie Tyler would recognise.

Let's break it down:
[(cottaging + getting arrested) x 2] + drug addiction ≤ gay heroism

Now, I firmly believe that if we are to be equals in society we have to understand that gay people can be just as crazy, awful and down right nasty as straight people (every body has an inner freak). But at a time when we're still fighting for acceptance, with the platform of celebrity comes responsibility, Spider-Man. Growing up black in a mostly white community, my parents always taught me I had to be better to even be seen as equal. And this is unfortunately still the position for many minorities including LGBTQ people. So, in the CBB house when there's such disgusting antics of sexual harassment by gay men it's a relief to see such a measured and well-composed counterpoint.

So if it takes two to make a thing go right, what is the equation for aspirational gay iconography?
[(dignity + honesty) x some god-given good sense] + speaking your mind  / humility + glitter = Someone people can admire 
(NOTE: There is no way that you can actually be Michelle Visage. You can only try to not let her down.)

Actually, it doesn't take two to make a thing go right. Just one. So, I salute you Mama Visage. You are showing your fierceness with the quiet dignity of a lioness sunbathing on the Serengeti, letting the punk-ass warthogs run around making fools of themselves because you don't need to sweat it. They'll be lunch meat soon enough. Thank you for representing yourself so well, but more importantly, doing it in the name of the LGBTQ community so we have another positive role model.

After CBB? I'll be looking forward to Logo TV airing Season 7 of RuPaul's Drag Race. I'll need my Visage fix. But until then I'm rooting for the Lady Visage to win. Why because she's not just entertaining but stands for something. And I'm happy to say (sorry, Mama Ru) I'm now officially 'Haus of Visage'.

PS: Just in case you're wondering, when the day comes my official drag name will 'Miss Diagnosed' - MissDee for short ;-) Trademarked!

Fry and Sonny - the equation of marriage

Stephen Fry, comedian, actor and my favourite dandy, announced his marriage to husband Elliott Spencer and Twitter was all a flutter with congratulations (me among them) to the pair. And, as well they should. Mr Fry looks incredibly happy and Elliott looks... stunned.

Now, I have to admit I "heart" Stephen Fry. I like a man with a big brain and honestly, given a shot I'd probably go there because it's Stephen-frickin-Fry!! Who wouldn't take the chance to spend more time in the company of this big brainy boffin.  But, I'll admit, when I saw the age difference between them I was shocked!

Now, age ain't nothing but a number. Old dudes get with young girls and dudes all the time. But, like any of those situations, my eyebrow nearly jumped off my face with skepticism. Mr Fry is very open about his struggles with bipolar disorder. I watched in awe during his specials on his love of gadgets and the ferver with which he procures and then forgets about them. I'm not saying Elliott is a gadget. But, I do wonder how much in common a 57 and 27 year old have and how long that will last. Also they've only been dating a year.

Is it just me or is this the cat who got the slightly dazed and ambivalent cream?

As many respectable gays do, when I was 27 I had a thing for daddies. But I also had SERIOUS issues that needed to be worked through. Elliott is a 27 year old comedian who has his career and a wealth of experiences before him. No doubt being married to Mr Fry will come with it's share of perks but also challenges that he may or may not be equipped to deal with. 

I've seen the age difference work for many people. But the, so far, successful ones took years and years of getting to know each other and dating before they even broached the subject of cohabitation, let alone marriage.

Maybe life moves faster as a celebrity. But let's boil it down equation style:

Age difference / length of time known x (bipolar fickleness + adolescent fickleness) = marriage?

I just want to reiterate that I adore Stephen Fry. I consider him an icon, a hero and someone who, sweet lord, I want to be like. I genuinely hope it goes well and that it is something deeper and more meaningful than it looks. I can't comprehend it but it clearly is working for them. Mr Fry is a champion for gay rights and mental health awareness and he deserves all the happiness in the world (and hopefully he wants to be my friend because he's Stephen-frickin-Fry!After all it's not my place to cast aspersions or comment on his love life and choices. But, you know... internet.